I’m not the most fun person ever. I don’t think I’m a total bore or anything, but I am pretty terrible at relaxing. I’m a creative, procrastinating perfectionist who fills my time with little things and then freaks out at the last minute about the big things. So play isn’t something I’ve ever had time for. In my mind it was a waste of time unless I was asked by someone else to do it. Then I was killing two birds with one stone: socialization and some fun.
My friend Heather introduced me to a book that has been pretty eye-opening. If how I described myself is resonating with you in the least, you need to get your hands on this book. It’s called Essentialism, and it’s been filled with “aha” moments. Basically the premise is that your life consists of many trivial things and very few vital things. We all have the choice to choose what we do, and if we don’t step up and make those choices hello people pleasers someone else will make them for us.
I knew that things like sleep and focus were essential to a good life but play? I never really thought about how important it was. Our society is one that prefers efficiency over leisure and structure over exploration, but play: anything we do simply for the joy of doing rather than as a means to an end, is powerful. It opens our minds to new ideas, relieves stress, and has a positive effect on the executive function of the brain. So play actually helps us be better workers and thinkers. Did you know most of the great thinkers, musicians and scientists made some of their biggest discoveries while at play? – not stuffed in front of some computer with a deadline looming.
So I’m making a pact to play more. This past week I left the house and computer behind and Milly and I spent a day at The Nelson. We had lunch on the lawn, took in the immense amount of art and she even snapped some pictures herself. Well, that was a bit of bribery to keep her quiet.
A chance to get away and be surrounded by inspiration was much needed, and I found myself refreshed and energized to tackle more at home the rest of the week. The things I let slip that day weren’t essentials. They could wait or never be done at all. But I had to make the choice to decide what was important for me to do that day instead of being a slave to emails and housework.
My goal is to schedule something playful every week. I’m marking it on my calendar to make it official, and I’m promising to feel no guilt about it. How about you? Do you make it a priority to play?
Stephanie Confer says
Hmmm…"I'm a creative, procrastinating perfectionist", yep that hits the nail on the head there. I will definitely looking into that book, thanks for the recommendation! I haven't been to the Nelson since high school, your photos are a good reminder that I need to go there again soon!
themakerista@gmail.com says
Glad I'm not alone! Yes, it was really refreshing, it's been a while for me too.
Klever Girl says
Balance of life has been HUGE for me the past 2 years but more focus on it this year and so far I can tell you that it's made ALL the difference. I'm a graphic designer and need to have that "clear-level-headed" aspect to perform. When life throws you wrenches, you have to know to get out of the way, de-stress, de-clutter, then get right back to the grind.
I dream of meeting you some day and that you can help me when I build my home…more on that later 😉
find me on all social media @klevergirl
Elizabeth @ The Little Black Door says
Heather is always full of great ideas. Love this idea and your pictures, as always, are beautiful!
This Woman's Work says
I LOVE those Giuseppe Arcimboldo heads! Did you post once that your personality type was INFJ? I can't remember if that was you or another blogger. It's based on myers briggs, and that's what I am. It's a creative perfectionist. I feel you!
themakerista@gmail.com says
Aren't they beautiful? I didn't. I've heard of that system and been meaning to test myself! Glad I'm not alone!
Amy Carrillo says
I am hearing you, Gwen! I loved the term you used, "creative procrasting perfectionist". That's me in a nutshell. I also have a hard time relaxing or doing nothing without feeling antsy. Especially when I'm at home, I always feel like there is something that can be done like endless housework! I also am consciously trying to make an effort to have more fun. I find that's when I get my best ideas 🙂
themakerista@gmail.com says
I always feel antsy! It's hard to feel content, which isn't good, I know. Glad to have some others to share in my feelings!
Jessica says
that picture of Milly laying on the bench is classic!!!!
tnic says
Hi Gwen, after you mentioned the book Essentialism on Instagram, I picked up a copy. I absolutely loved it. At first, I was resistant b/c I am a bit of a generalist (or a trivialist ? :)), but the more I read, the more I realized how much I needed to hear his message. I am dabbling in too much and focused on too many things. I think I am the way I am, partly b/c I want to be all things to all people, but then it ends up…jack of all trades, master of none. My daughter started 2nd grade, and I realized how precious this time is b/c 2nd grade is on the verge of not being little kid anymore. We have10 more years with our daughter at home, and even though it sounds like a lot, it is going to go really fast! (I am old enough now to realize that 5, even 10 years, goes so much quicker than you think!) I have vowed not to put her into too many activities this year, just the one or two she really wants to do, and to get back to what we used to do…reading together, hanging out coloring, and I want to add a little baking in there as I try to teach her more about healthy food. Also, I have been cleaning her room b/c I want it done "right" and just b/c it is easier than taking the time to show her how to do it. But what an important life skill..my goal this school year is to help her learn how to keep her own things neat and tidy and encourage that in her, not just lead by example.
By the way, on Instagram I mentioned Gretchen Rubin's book about developing good habits, Before and After. It dawned on me later that you might really like her book Happier at Home. (I don't mean to be presumptuous. Perhaps you know about her work, as she is a New York Times best selling author.)
themakerista@gmail.com says
All things to all people…yes, definitely me. And that's so great to hear it's had an effect on your role as a parent. Milly did a mini dance camp a few weeks ago and she wasn't totally into it, so we're not going to continue with anything. I think before reading this book I maybe would have tried to get her to do a season of dance but I have to recognize that we all have a few special gifts and we have to know what to focus on and what to walk away from. She's only 3, so maybe next year things will be different, but that approach is so helpful! Thanks for the reccs, I definitely want to check them out!
tnic says
It's so obvious from your blog that you are an awesome mom, and in tune with your children, I'm sure you made the right choice! Thanks for your reply, hope you have a great week!
themakerista@gmail.com says
You too!
Just Being Nan! says
Funny you should write about "play". I am consciously slowing down and enjoying my life by being present and showing gratitude for what I have. I posted this last Sunday.
Having a creative outlet is so important for good health. When people play, they stimulate nerve growth in the part of the brain that processes emotions, and executive function. And, when people play, dilemmas and challenges are naturally filtered through the unconscious mind and work themselves out. So for your health… take a break, and go play!
I'm sure your daughter enjoyed her special time with you. Cheers and here's to a little play time.
Brynne Delerson says
Ahhh… That sounds so familiar! I hardly ever have time to play because I enjoy working and being busy – I guess I'm a bit of a workaholic. It sounds like I need to pick up that book and make some time to read it! 🙂
Emily Kuhlman says
I love your writing in this post. My girls are looking over my shoulder and Avery goes, "There's Miss Gwen! I want her to come over with her little sister!" Hahaha, looking young!
themakerista@gmail.com says
Oh I love this! And them. 🙂
Seahorseluvr says
What a wonderfully refreshing post. Indeed we place much emphasis on being responsible and grown up, however we quickly lose touch with having the unadulterated sense of childhood and unplugging.
Never accept unearned guilt – enjoy!!!