Before the holidays I went to an estate sale. I don’t get to one very often. They rarely seem to be close to where we live the best ones in the area are typically a 30-40 minute drive and it’s not an ideal place to bring kids some sales don’t even allow children so they have never been very convenient for me. But the experience is my all-time favorite. Every sale brings a mix of emotions and the last one I went to was certainly the most emotional yet.
After I had Xander I worked one day a week at a small clothing boutique. It was my chance to make a little money as a new stay-at-home mom and be surrounded by pretty things. Shortly after starting they hired a fresh-out-of-college, full-of-life girl named Jaimie. Jaimie and I had gone to school together, but she was several years younger than me. I had always known who she was but really got to know her and her heart while working together in this small shop that didn’t see much traffic. Her mom was battling cancer at the time and I felt a strong desire to sow seeds in her. I only worked there for about a year, but she left imprints on my heart that will always be there.
Jaimie’s mom lost her battle with cancer a few years ago, and right before Thanksgiving this year her dad had an estate sale. I knew from the things I had heard from Jaimie that her mother was a woman of elegance and style…I was curious to see what she had and also knew it would mean something to Jaimie if I went.
Walking through someone else’s house when they’re not there is always a bit odd. When you personally know the circumstances it can feel even more heavy. I didn’t know Jaimie’s mom, but I felt really emotional going through the sale. With some time on my hands I was able to meticulously go room by room through their beautiful home and take her in. From the jewelry she wore to the entertaining pieces she had collected over the years – she was a women of class who clearly had a passion for life, food and sharing those things with others. I loved the chance to get to know this woman more, and it was clear why Jaimie had turned out so special.
I don’t really make resolutions, per se, as I think they can often be unrealistic and not fun, but this year I resolve to go to more estate sales. I thrift all the time and it’s great, don’t get me wrong, but thrift stores are mostly filled with things people didn’t see value in for themselves anymore. Estate sales are filled with items people loved. There is something wonderful about resolving to take care of things that another person can no longer take care of. Our stuff isn’t what’s most important in this life, but the idea of someone else enjoying the things I’ve collected and treasured over time is nice. Using and wearing items with a past feels special, and when you can tie them to a person or a house they feel even more so. Anytime I pull one of these pieces out I know I’ll smile and think of my friend and her beautiful mom.
Emilia Elizabeth Chochia says
What a lovely post, Gwen! Such a beautiful tableware pieces, and oh, I'd love to see inside the book of the sixties films ♡
themakerista@gmail.com says
Thanks, Emilia!
Erin Burke says
We have a lot of estate sales here in New England and the emotion of walking through someone else's life always hits me in the gut. I once walked in a room that had two twin beds, each with a military uniform laid out on them. I slowly backed out of that room. Making things weirder is our estate sales are usually packed with hard core antiques dealers, so there's this cut-throat vulture vibe which creeps me out. But everything I've brought home from estate sales makes me think of that house or pictures I saw hanging on the walls. Much more personal than thrift stores.
themakerista@gmail.com says
Definitely more personal. I would love to experience the estates in your area…so much more history than here! I'm sure there are some great finds!
Anita says
I too think of the person that used to own the piece and know that they would be happy that I treasure it just as much as they did.
themakerista@gmail.com says
Agreed!
Joselyn says
Hi, Gwen! I'm an estate sale junkie also living in KC, Westwood to be exact. Pretty much my entire home is decorated with estate sale finds. I would be happy to share with you some more specific thoughts on estate sales in our area if you would like, ie favorite vendors, strategies, etc . . . Just let me know and I'll send you an email. Happy hunting!!
themakerista@gmail.com says
I would absolutely love that, Joselyn! Please shoot me an email if you see this…themakerista(at)gmail(dot)com. Thanks!
hopskipjumppaper says
I find looking through someone's belongings difficult. I loved your post for looking at it a different way, especially the lines: Estate sales are filled with items people loved. There is something wonderful about resolving to take care of things that another person can no longer take care of.
themakerista@gmail.com says
Thanks, I do think they can be hard to attend, but this perspective gives me a real reason to go more often!
Amanda @ Warm Fuzzy Home says
I love that spin on estate sales. I'm going to try to be more intentional about finding estate sales. I did go to one before Thanksgiving here and the only thing I managed to do was fall in love with the house, which we then found out was already under contract with somebody else. Sad day!
themakerista@gmail.com says
Bummer! Aside from the stuff, going through the homes can be enjoyable too!
Jennifer@The Chronicles of Home says
I love the beautiful sentiment behind this post, Gwen. I never thought about the idea that thrift stores have castoffs and estate sales hold loved things. I've never been to one…no idea how to even find them!
Holly Young says
So well said Gwen. I have been to a few & I have had the chance to find some beautiful pieces & a lot of rugs.
Happy New Year!
themakerista@gmail.com says
You too, Holly! Rugs are sometimes the best finds, I've noticed!
nick&megan says
I work at an auction house in the DC area, where we have estate sales at our facility every week. It's great; I can't image paying full price for furniture, art or home decor ever again. It takes time and discipline, but it is fun, rewarding and a great way to decorate your house with high quality items for cheap. Plus, you can buy things that are super unique, high quality and have history or an artist name to them that no one else will have as opposed to shopping at all the big name stores, where you can identify "oh, that came from Pottery Barn", which also makes a lot of peoples houses look the same. You are not bound to the big stores' tastes, but only your own!
themakerista@gmail.com says
That sounds amazing! I would be broke. 🙂
Whitney Shortt says
My grandmother used to take us to estate sales when we were younger, but I haven't gone since. I need to start making a point to, and what a sweet tribute to your friend <3
themakerista@gmail.com says
What a great memory!
Jaimie Link says
You have had such a tremendous impact, more than you know, on my life for a number of years. You were a senior when i was a freshman and known as THE most beautiful girl in school, inside and out. You have the voice of an angel. The most kind and genuine heart and soul i have ever met. Unrivaled style. And the life you lead inspires people each and every day. You are one of those women that others look to and say, "wow! I want to be just like her when i grow up" For you to mean so much to me, and have touched my life in such a way.. i am forever grateful. But for my family, and mum's short battle to have touched you in such a way… i am forever humbled and honored. She would think us so silly for making such a to-do over "things" but, as one of your readers so eloquently stated, we should never under estimate the power of "stuff"…. thank you for turning such an emotionally tough, heart wrenching process into one of honor, value and positivity. Thank you Gwendolyn Rose for being such a treasure and a gift to our lives. #ilymtywek
themakerista@gmail.com says
Love you!
Sherri says
Aww. What a beautiful tribute from Jaime. It's very cool that you have each touched each other in such a beautiful way. God bless you both. Btw, that bracelet is amazing. Gwen, I would wear it often and in remembrance of Jaime and her wonderful mama.
themakerista@gmail.com says
I do! I really love it!
tnic says
Hi Gwen, I posted on Instagram about this blog post and I wanted to say just a bit more. I mentioned there that we shouldn't overlook the fact that material things can have very meaningful significance in our lives, and while we shouldn't overvalue stuff, we shouldn't underestimate the significance of some material objects in our lives. I was reminded of interesting research on this topic that shows that the loneliest people are the most likely to say that material things don't mean anything. In some research, people with fuller lives and relationships would place great value on some of their possessions, for example, pointing to a vase or silverware or something that was passed down to them, or given to them by someone they cared about, etc. A snipet from a website on this topic (see (2) in particular:
Csikszentmihalyi and Rochberg-Halton (1981) who have studied attachment to and meaning associated with possessions. Broadly, these authors develop a powerful conception of materialism……Among the many findings of their research, two points are particularly relevant: (1) that the types and saliency of meanings associated with objects vary over the life span, and (2) that the degree of psychic energy invested in objects appears related in a curvilinear manner with well-being and happiness. While excessive reliance on the symbolic power of objects leads to a narrow definition of self and to unhappiness, those individuals who are most adamant about the meaninglessness of objects are often the most lonely. Possessions may serve a positive function by solidifying and making concrete the ties that we develop with family and friends.
In light of this, I would say that it isn't insignificant to help others curate their important possessions and create beautiful spaces for (partly the purpose of) displaying the things they care about!
tnic says
Here is a link to an article that explains this research better than me:) In case you are interested in the topic: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/12/for-the-love-of-stuff/383592/ (It's aptly titled For the Love of Stuff. Darn…wish I had written it first :))
So enjoyed reading Jaimie's comments above! Wow…what kind words for someone who knows you to say!
themakerista@gmail.com says
Thanks so much for all of this! It is really interesting, I don't feel as guilty about loving my things now. 🙂
Laurie from Laurie Jones Home says
What a beautiful and heartfelt post. I love your analogy on thrift store vs auction sales. i know this sounds goofy but I believe there is energy in all things and I think it's so important to fill your home with beautiful items you love and even better with sentimental value. I absolutely love going to auctions!!! Again I enjoyed this post so much!!
Jo says
Hi Gwen. Buddy and his sisters moved their mom into an assisted living facility last week. They are preparing to sell her house. We have gone through her things and though they are not worth much in dollars and cents, it has been special picking out a few things we would like to keep. The conversations about memories the items hold have been wonderful. Buddy's sister said it felt like the things were getting a new life. All the kids and grandkids and even the great grandkids have something to hold on to from grandma. Your resolution is a good thing. Although they are just "things", items like the ones you are talking about are a bond to the person who loved them first.
themakerista@gmail.com says
I'm sorry to hear that, but so glad things are getting some new love. It's true, things aren't everything, but there can be power in them.
Shavonda Gardner says
I never looked at it from a perspective of caring for things someone else no longer can, but it changes my viewpoint on estate sales alot. Theyve always made me very very uncomfortable so i forego them in lieu of thrift and secondhand stores. But reading this post helps things click for me. My love language is receiving gifts. Not because of the material nature of THINGS, but rather because of the love and generosity behind the person whom i get them from, and also because of the story behind the actual THING. Nate Berkus's The Things That Matter was such a great read to me because i unabashedly beleive things do matter….especially to me who tends to collect and display them throughout my home. What a beautiful post friend. I now go into eatate sales with a fresh perspective and a newfound appreciation…to welcome things someone can no longer love into my home and provide that same love to it.
Emma C. says
Beautifully put. You’ve opened my eyes to the significant difference between thrift stores/garage sales and estate sales. I absolutely love the idea of “[taking] care of things that another person can no longer take care of.”
themakerista@gmail.com says
Thanks, Emma!